Our community has been shaken by two recent school shootings in the past weeks.  Our hearts and thoughts go out to the vicitms and their families and friends during this difficult time.  We know there are many who are mourning after these acts of violence.

The Pulse was founded around a Teen Health Database called Rosen Teen Health and Wellness (it's what we call "Health 411").  The original intention of this database was to help you with everyday health questions and needs, and the occasional homework assignment.  However, during times like these it can offer more.

From Rosen Teen Health and Wellness:

Dealing with Violence and Violent Death

Violent death provokes extremely powerful feelings because it is usually unexpected and seems so senseless. The victim does not even have to be a close friend or family member. He or she might just be someone that we see daily in a classroom, in a store, or in our neighborhood. Death by violence has a far-reaching effect. You are reminded about your own mortality when someone around you is killed. The world does not seem as secure or as safe as it once did. You may be sad about the death but worried about yourself at the same time. No one is immune to violence and tragedy. It can affect anyone at any time. Violent death is frightening because it reminds everyone that life can be over in an instant.

 You’ll feel many different emotions when someone you know dies by violence. You may feel guilty that you are still alive, grateful that you weren’t the victim, stunned and saddened by the loss of someone you loved, angry about how they died, and/or afraid of the dangers that you now see lurking around you.

So how do you cope?

The Path to Healing

Some adults try to keep young people from dealing with death in order to protect their feelings. Experts say that’s the wrong thing to do. The grieving process occurs at a time when you are diving into yourself and your feelings. You have to go all the way to the bottom of your emotions. There, you can start to climb back up and begin to feel well again. This process needs to unfold after any death, whether the person has died of natural causes or whether he or she has been killed.

Coping With Grief

The following steps are some experts’ suggestions to help you through the mourning process: 

1. First and most important, let yourself feel sadness, anger, and even happiness as you recall the time you spent with the deceased person. Grief brings a series of emotional ups and downs that can change from moment to moment. You cannot prevent this, and it is not healthy to try to do so. Ignore anyone who tells you to stop crying, to get over your sadness, or to be strong. As one expert observes, “You have to recognize that you have these feelings before you can deal with them.” Let the feelings out!

2. Talk about your feelings. Once you allow yourself to feel all the sorrow, rage, fear, guilt, and other emotions buried deep inside you, talk about them with someone you trust. These emotions may be too tough to handle by yourself, and sharing will help. Many people find it beneficial to talk with a close family member or friend. If you do not have someone like this in your life, or you do not feel comfortable talking with him or her, consider speaking with a school guidance counselor, teacher, or coach. Religious leaders often are very helpful and comforting when dealing with death. There are also crisis lines open twenty-four hours a day if you need someone to talk to.

3. Watch your health. When people are under stress, they are more vulnerable to health problems. Dealing with death is one of the greatest stresses in life. How do you stay well? Get rest, eat a balanced diet, and take care of your body. People who are grieving tend to forget routines such as eating regular meals or getting enough sleep. It’s also a good idea to get a checkup from your doctor. Tell the doctor about the death so he or she is aware of what you are experiencing. Also, exercising regularly can help reduce stress. Something as simple as going for a walk every day can help you to feel better.

4. Ask questions about the death. Most experts agree that a young person has a right to know what has happened when someone dies. Adults may avoid telling you the truth to protect you, especially in a case when someone is tragically killed. Lies and secrets prevent people from really dealing with death and slow down the healing process.

5. Avoid alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant; it slows down the body and mind. It can increase feelings of sadness and despair. The escape from pain that alcohol abuse offers is only a temporary one. Dulling your emotions impedes the grieving process.

6. Take part in the funeral or memorial ritual if you were close to the deceased person. For example, you can give ideas for the eulogy (the speech someone makes in memory of the deceased) or help choose the music for the ceremony. There are important reasons for being involved in these plans. Helping will keep you busy. It also will make you feel closer to others involved. Equally important, taking part in the ritual will help you to realize that the person’s life is over. Mental health experts call this step closure. Why do you need this? Many people cling to feelings of hope during tough times. Even when you know someone has died, a small part of you may believe that he or she is not really gone forever. You may think that it is just a bad dream or that some miracle will undo what has happened. You cannot move on in your life while these thoughts remain. Taking part in a ceremony, being present at the burial, or viewing the person’s body will help you to accept that the death is final.

7. Make your own memorial. There are many ways to mark and honor someone’s death and the life he or she lived. Among them:

   • Writing a story or a poem

   • Composing a song

   • Creating a drawing or other artwork

   • Making a memory book of subjects and objects the deceased person loved in life

   • Reviewing and collecting photos or videos

   • Doing an activity that the person who died would have liked

   • Lighting candles

   • Planting a shrub, tree, or flowers

   • Visiting someone else suffering from the death, especially if that person is now alone.

8.  Join a support group. Sharing your pain and experiences with other people who know what you’re going through can be a huge step toward healing. Support groups are available through your local hospitals and hospices, or through the Dougy Center (www.dougy.org).

9. Consider your schoolmates as a source of support. If you have had to miss school because of the death, you may fear returning. You may wonder what people will think of you. Will they treat you differently? Will you be able to control your feelings in front of everyone? Will you be able to enjoy friends and activities in the way that you once did? Other young people can be wonderfully supportive if they know that you are struggling. Let school officials know in advance the date you are returning. Then don’t be afraid to ask your friends and teachers for support. They probably want to help you but may be waiting for you to tell them how to do it.

10. Understand that there are times, such as holidays, the birthday of the deceased person, or the anniversary of the death, when you may have to deal with the sadness, grief, and fear all over again. The best way to handle this is to plan these days in advance. Light a candle or visit with family or friends to honor the person. Also, do something special for yourself. See a movie or plan something fun with your friends. Take time to remember the deceased person but take care of yourself, too.

11. Give your pain time to mend. “Time heals all wounds” might be an old saying, but, in most cases, it is true.

For more information on dealing with Death by Violence, please see the article in Rosen Teen Health and Wellness. http://teenhealthandwellness.com/article/355/death-by-violence

Give yourself a voice.   Head over to our forums and let us know what you're feeling.  http://www.teenpulse.net/forums/your-thoughts/controversy/comfort-and-support-aftermath

InkPop- have you heard about it?

From: www.inkpop.com

"What’s your story?

inkpop is an online community that connects rising stars in teen lit with talent-spotting readers and publishing professionals. Our social networking forum spotlights aspiring authors and the readers who provide the positive springboard for feedback. inkpop members play a critical role in deciding who will land a publishing contract with HarperCollins. Whose work will you help rise to the top?"

Teen Book Club: The Hunger Games (Teens)

Main-Huntsville Public Library, Monday January 25 @ 6pm    

Come discuss the powerful and edgy novel, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.

 Get prepared for The Hunger Games by visiting the book club page on GoodReads: http://tinyurl.com/ybcmu55.  Take polls, post discussion questions, and interact with other teens.

Please contact Emily Shade (eshade [at] hpl [dot] lib [dot] al [dot] us) at the Main-Huntsville Public Library (256)532-5949 for more questions.

Check out the trailer: